First off let me explain the name....
Land-Mine.....A land mine is an explosive device,
concealed under or on the ground designed to destroy enemy targets as
they pass over the device.
Memory-Mine.....Its the same thing as a land mine only in the brain. Its clinical diagnosis is dementia and or Alzheimers.
Now with that being said I have decided to move this blog from one service (which I won't name but they suck) to this one which doesn't suck....so some of these are old ie THIS ONE lol
ORIGINAL POST Oct 2013
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Hello All
I am a 30 something woman with three mostly grown children (none of
them live at home) married and my Grandmother and sister live with me.
Well we all live together. My grandmother is 76 years old and has
alzheimers/dementia. Since they can’t totally diagnose either without
dissecting the brain we won’t know for sure for hopefully is a very long
time. This blog is about my life with her. Maybe a few other things
thrown in but mostly about her.
I was looking for a way to cope with what is happening with her and
decided this was cheaper than a shrink and less damaging than a drinking
problem. (less headaches) Her doc suggested I find time daily to care
for myself just as I care for her. So here goes.
Background, she is my mothers mother. My mother was 17 when she had
me and like most 17 year olds was not prepared to deal with a child. I
was the first grandchild born, although not by much, 9 months I believe.
But that put me in that special 1st position. For those of you who have
been there you know what that means. All the good and all the bad that
comes with it. My grandmother was there my entire life, not always hands
on but always there. When I was 4 I thought M&M’s were only
produced in her purse by the Kmart elves. When I was 7 my step father
died and we moved 2000 miles to live with her. She was the one that was
there to be my “human” on those nights when I was scared and alone
because even tho my mother had gotten older, she wasn’t in a position to
deal with me. My mother once told someone how terrified she was of me
because I seemed to have been born smarter and wiser than she. I am not
sure about that I did learn a lot from my mom, mostly what not to do but
hey its a lesson. About 10 years ago my mother died suddenly. This set
off a chain reaction in our family that is being felt daily.
My grandmother had never had her wits totally about her. Even tho she
raised 5 kids on her own and did an amazing job 3 out of 5 went to
college and became professionals. One went to the military where he was a
lifer until an accident cut that short. And then there was my mom, who
was content following in her mothers footsteps being the worker bee.
Nothing wrong with that. I worked years with both my mother and
grandmother and learned a lot about work ethic from them both. I
realized long ago they were “mexican workers” before the mexican workers
took over! When I was 5 my grandmother had a nervous breakdown. Many
factors were at work there. Years of an abusive husband whom she
divorced eons before I was born but never got over the hate. Working too
many hours to be the mom she got to see her sisters be, having met a
wonderful man he moved them that said 2000 miles away to a new town new
surroundings and I have to say it was a town where unless you were born
there or moved there as a child, being accepted just wasn’t going to
happen easy! And Gram wasn’t one to go out and make friends. From this
point on she has been on some sort of medication. Paxil mostly which I
don’t believe is doing her much good anymore. She also takes a nerve
pill that is actually for insomnia! But you can’t tell her that.Now
couple that with my mothers sudden death, then two years later her
youngest died and it was a long illness which took it toll on her. Two
years after that her oldest son died. Sudden just like my mother and
that was the beginning of the end. She snapped and chose to give up on
life at that point.
Fast forward a year….she and I live in the same area of the world,
not by chance I planned it that way. I got to see her about once a month
but did talk to her on a regular basis. I showed up at her apartment
around her birthday to bring her flowers and gifts. And there was
warning sign ONE….she had had a stoke, palsey incident. She swore to me
she went to the doc…I stayed a while and came back a few days later to a
much better Grams so I figured things were fine. Things were NOT fine.
She never did see anyone about this. This was in July, I spoke with her
numerous times feeling as if something was off but not sure what. I
called her one weekend and didn’t get an answer I always left a message
and she always returned it. Didn’t this time so I called back the next
morning to my surprise the voice on the other end is crying saying “I
need your help!” Boom Im there. End up calling an ambulance only to be
told by the paramedic that they had been there already the day before.
Get her to ER and the ER doc tells me she had been there 4 times in the
last 24 hours. We admit her to find out whats going on. I call the two
remaining children and let them know whats happening. It is close to
Christmas at this time and we managed to get it all taken care of. She
was out of it loopy gone. I got to her apartment and was looking thru
her meds and realize she hadn’t been taking any of them. For months she
hadn’t taken any of them. We get that all straightened out she hasn’t a
clue whats going on and is stuck on taking that nerve pill over and over
and over daily. Had to take them away from her. So a few weeks go by
and they release her. My husband and I get her home get her set up she
is fine. I call the next am…she is out of it again and crying. I get
there and decided with the help of my aunt and uncle she is coming to
stay with me at least until she can maintain on her own. That was almost three years ago!!!!!!
More to come but now I have to get her breakfast and get her day started!
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