Ulcers and Illusions UPDATED

Original Post
2-2014

That’s my life these days. Ulcers which are exclusively mine and Illusions which are rampant in my four walls.
We shall begin with the latter. Illusions..ya know when you are a kid and you watch the magic show and you know in your mind it’s an illusion, but in your heart you deeply want it to be real to believe for just a moment that magic is possible. I now live in the land of illusion and I despise it. My dear husband is diabetic and has neuropayhy in his feet. And if anyone knows anything about it its all an illusion. Pain when there isn’t any no feeling most of the time etc. It’s torture. If governments could figure out how to give this to terrorists I’m sure it would work better than any torture they dish out at Gitmo these days. It dawned on me the other night when he was in serious pain and I was applying the wraps to his feet and he says to me that his feet are freezing. They were sweating.

MORE TO COME


This is his sad illusion.  He his always in pain and its not real something you can see pain its all inside. Having two sons with a disease that most of their pain isn't something you can see...I have had some experience with this. This however isn't something he is used to.

Another illusion......Gramma....her whole world seems to be an illusion. She seems to think there is some little man that jumps out of my husband and messes with the heater. She sees things that aren't there. She talks to people no one sees and blames it on old age she talks to herself. Its getting worse. She also has issues with any sort of sound that comes from places she cannot see. Not so much see but if she isn't making the noise or isn't turning the tv up then its too loud for her even tho she can't seem to hear a damn thing. If we turn the TV up so we can hear it its too loud....if we are in teh kitchen cleaning it up or cooking its too loud. If we are all in the living room laughing or talking its too loud. She is a very angry person. Its sad really because she also believes many times that we are talking about her or laughing at her. Which we are not doing.

Now do the ulcers make sense? Those are mine. Its getting better this week well I shall say its feels okay so far this week however its only Tuesday.

As for Gramma I have started a behaviour and food journal. Its only been a few days but there is defiantly a pattern. She has things she does daily all day every day. I also have tried to give her some space although I do invite her to sit with us at supper every night maybe 1 out of 10 nights she will. The ONLY time she sits up is when she is eating. It makes me sad to see this. I don't quite understand it. We got her a chair she wanted she won't sit in it. We try to make an open table so she can sit and talk with everyone when we are all milling around the house etc she won't. She is very withdrawn but gets mad when we don't include her even tho she refuses 99% of the time. I won't stop inviting her but it gets disheartening.